For the Win

I am embarking on a yearlong experiment. I am four months in (yes I know I am really slacking in the blogging department).

I’m calling it the contest experiment.  (not a very exciting name, perhaps I should think of something more creative)

I have this dream to be a professional writer. I play with different forms of writing (I write plays, poetry, prose… oh yeah and blogging, again I realize I’ve been slacking) and I would love to have something published or produced.

But there is a major obstacle in my way…  it’s the same obstacle that I have been facing for years…. It’s me.

I have an incredible ability to get in my own way.  Or rather, my fear gets in my way. I can be very prolific, but I have this fear of actually getting my work into the world so that anything can be done with it. Actually that was part of why I began these blogs, to make myself write and to put it on display so that I could become comfortable with the thought of people reading it.

 I can be very strange sometimes. I will write something, have rewrite it, and have trusted friends give me feedback, but when it comes to sending it into a contest, or to a theatre company I completely lose my nerve.  I am sure that a lot of why I do behave this way comes down to the fear of failure. After all there is always that possibility of rejection. Having anyone not like something that you have created, nurtured and poured excessive amounts of emotional energy into is a terrifying possibility. But the truth is I just have to get over it!

So I have decided to send things in to at least two contests a month for this entire year. Yes, I run the risk of having my work rejected, in fact some already has been and you know what I survived it! I am hoping that the more I do it the less scary it will become.

Yes the chances of me winning one of these things enabling me to really get my work out there may be slim, but the chances are nonexistent if I don’t try at all!